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I'm madly in love with love
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 16th, 2008|12:46 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  amused | ] |
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| plus and minuses |
[Mar. 19th, 2008|08:21 pm] |
-I suck at looking for jobs
+I've decided to go back to school
-I need $541 so I can go back to school
+I want to learn a foreign language
+I'll be in DC in one week
+/-I'll probably be having dinner with the president. We have some things to discuss.
-I owe the LIBRARY money
+my family has a new puppy!
****++++I need to do this later. phone calls! |
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| I remember running through the wet grass and falling a step behind |
[Feb. 20th, 2008|10:44 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  contemplative | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | better than ezra | ] |
so I'm interested to see how this shooting down of satellite goes. $16 million dollars sounds like a good number to show our military might. It will be mighty embarressing if we can't do it, being as china already shot one down. I'm pretty sick of china these days... I think we should shoot them down. but I've maintained that opinion since 10th grade, so I digress.
I am just about ready to move anywhere at anytime.
Whenever I ride in a plane I always think... "what if these are my last moments? what if I die in a plane crash?"
the thought doesn't actually bother me. It has the same affect as say.... "Why does Northwest carry cranapple juice? seems like an odd choice."
not to say I'm apathetic to death, I'm just completely unafraid of flying. I don't know why some people get so anxious. it generally makes me want to punch them in the face. lift off is so much fun... looking out the window is so much fun. it's marvelous.
I can't make life choices because I can't be stuck with any one thing for the rest of my life. I want to be a lot of things, for a short while. But you can't just be a lot of things for a short while! Well, I suppose you could, but not the good things.
I feel like philosophical jen is going to make an appearance soon.
I just can't conform to a confused society's idea of what adulthood and success should be.
but I don't live according to my philosophies. I believe that's called hypocrisy.
Breaking news! Satellite shot down! Nice job Navy! Don't mess with the US.
anyway, what was I saying? oh yes, hypocrisy. Actually that was the end of that thought.
I think too much about things. It can be irritating, but I would rather I thought too much about things than not. You don't get anywhere without probing.
but enough about that. This summer, I have decided, is going to be extravagant.
How does one enjoy every minute of every day? I had the answer to that once. It's true. I've since forgotten, but at the time it was pretty life changing. Changing your thought patterns is pretty hard, and I'm pretty young.
Tomorrow will be different.
(no, I don't really think we should attack china)
as you're leaving please won't you close the door, and don't forget what I told you. |
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| if you still look at this |
[Dec. 5th, 2007|08:19 pm] |
I hope you know I tried to help you before you lose everything. but if that's what you need... that's what you need.
I lost the battle, as they say, but you're going to lose the war. I hope you see that. I was fighting for you, not against you.
I haven't done anything out of revenge, but I know you see it that way. I'm sorry you do.
and I'm sorry you're going to hate me even more now... one day though, I hope you'll see I did what was right. and that it wasn't easy.
won't you just get better?
I miss you.
I love you and I always will.
if you need me, I'll be there.
please wake up. |
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| I'll hollow out your hungry eyes |
[May. 12th, 2007|10:45 pm] |
njdsjfdeasjhgfudhfguierhguienfjnnduikcjkmngfjkdjhsaguhdsgkfjdshfgjkvndfcmv cdfjkhvuyfdghvjdsnvcjkhdgxuyv gdcnjkhfdsagvuyfdhjvtredweszxdfvbnjkkm,xl;lwkfediodhweubjhfvcredasecvjhkedmfvdl;sfchytywsafdjhnntjkdfvhui!!!
and that about sums it up |
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| people don't like people who are sociopaths |
[May. 5th, 2007|09:27 pm] |
*I miss the days when I wrote in livejournal several times a week... went to shows... was sxe (yes, I admit it)... but then I remember.. it really wasn't very thrilling back then. but hey, at least cute guys were around. and the 'wrecking crew' had fun.
-there are no cute guys around anymore.
-I mentioned a while back life and I were at war... well now it is a cold war, but I still think I'm losing... but maybe I'm just planning an attack. maybe I am george washington and my trenton is coming up.
-which reminds me
-a guy at work today didn't believe I read much.. he says "what do you read? glamour?"
-do I look dumb? I must look dumb. people think I'm lying.. apparently I have to spew facts and get degrees or I'm dumb.
-on the plus side, if people think I'm dumb they don't know I'm a nerd. um, I guess that's good? I guess that should make socializing easier....
-but I don't socialize....
-and I do read glamour sometimes....
-in other news, I love the show dexter, but it makes me dream about blood...
-I am impressed by people who aren't fake (omitting situations in which fakeness is survival, such as work).
-I feel like talking...but more I feel like kissing. |
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| I ran across this... |
[Mar. 7th, 2007|04:13 pm] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | angels and airwaves | ] |
tracy, you're going to have to explain yourself. |
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| Progression |
[Feb. 21st, 2007|07:47 pm] |
5 years ago today:
I'm cuddly
I am ELMO.
I'm cute, cute, as a button!
Which Sesame Street Character Are You?
I'm thinking, this is wrong.
Current Mood: bored
Current Music: Fenix TX
4 years ago today:
no entry for today...
3 years ago today:
or today...
2 years ago today:
or this day...
1 year ago today:
maybe I can make it on own every time, maybe I can
my new goal in life from now on is to prove everyone wrong.
in fact, it is my only goal.
I am going to put up fights and always be right and take all of the punches for myself.
Current Mood: agitated
Current Music: u2 |
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| this isn't an attack |
[Feb. 5th, 2007|01:52 pm] |
My favorite aspect of being a citizen of a modern nation is the fact that the things we cry about, the things that we fear, our obstacles... are nothing compared to the vast majority of the world. out of 6.6 billion people on earth, there are only 300 million living in the united states. Half of the worlds population are living below our standard of "poverty."
War, murder, rape, abuse, etc. are a part of their daily lives. It's not a situation that can be remedied by therapy. A trivialization of the trauma modern people go through when these things do happen to them, is not my intention. it is when we take other's disturbances as our own. The trauma of a loved one isn't ours. People have a habit of taking the turbulence of those around them as their own private tortures. It may be painful to watch the people we love go through painful, damaging experiences. It should push us to help them. It should not serve as our own ordeal. this is not sympathetic, it is selfish.
I find it very interesting that people in a country like this feel that what they are going through (I only exclude extreme and reoccuring traumas) is going to kill them. because for most people on earth, they wouldn't even think about switching places. they worry for their lives every day. they starve, they are plundered, and ravaged, and cold, and sick.
In the grand pecking order, we are the elite upper class.
I believe there are very few people in this country that could stand to live the way most of the world does. without our antidepressents or soft warm beds. if any of us were to be thrown into their realm, few would survive. and I'm sure more than a few would take their own lives. our technology and our wealth has weakened us in this way. we've become disengaged from the human plight. human beings are used to living like animals (but isnt that what we are?) and without pain, what are we?
we like pain. we hate pain. but the bottom line is, we can't live without it.
we all use it to our advantage. we use it for sympathy, for strength, for individuality. we all think we're martyrs. and we use it to feel alive. it's true, we don't always invite painful events into our lives. but what do we do to get away from it? what do we do to really learn from it? pain is a part of life and to endure it without improving ourselves, our lives, or the lives around us is meaningless.
billions of people would gladly switch places. they would love to handle our problems and our affliction. they pray to. that is, if they haven't lost all hope.
100 years ago even people in this country lived profoundly different. what have we come to? when did we decide we were living in hell? we've barely had a taste. a taste would be europe during WWII. mao's china. rwanda. darfur. iraq. etc.
How many of us have seen death, war, and distruction up close?
all we can see are ourselves.
it is our responsibility to move the magnifying glass. bad things happen. a lot. but we have choices. we have a choice, to be exact. we can be victims, or we can rise above that mentality. and that's far harder than anything else we've experienced.
I honestly believe the only way to do that is to look beyond our cacoon and become aquainted with the rest of our family around the world. we've all won and lost our own battles. we've conquered and we've been conquered. we have something to offer. we are all individuals, but we are all a part of one race, one family, one home. and we can all help.
and in the end, we help ourselves. we have perspective. we become better people.
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jennijinx's journal
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